Preparation is everything.

Last year, quoting my Spin Instructor Annette, I said "If you want it, you have to train for it". After today's busted 18 mile run today, I can add..."If you want it, you have to prepare for it". Today, I set out for my 18 miler...as has been typical this season, it was a cool day, so I slept in and headed out late (9:30ish). Had prepared on Friday as prescribed, except...there was no sense of urgency. I got home late, took my time cooking dinner, didn't set-up my next day fuel, basically, didn't follow my routine.

Anyway, the usual plan on a long run is to break it in pieces. Today, 18 miles was just three 6 mile runs in my head to start. Later in the run, it turns into a "just one more mile" game where you are equally fighting for and cherishing every small milestone. Typically, the first mile and 3/4 is tough, then I hit a groove and can slip into the plan. Today, I knew from the first step that it was going to be tough. Felt really heavy despite recording lowest weight on scale in 10 years and had what felt like a balloon between my stomach and chest. Form sucked, my stride was short and I couldn't catch my breath. I was just not comfortable. After 2 miles, I thought to myself "I can turn back now, do 4 and do my long run tomorrow." In hind sight, I should have heeded my own advice. By mile 3, I was already playing the "one more mile" card. I had lots of opportunities to quit, but was proud of my drive. I talked myself through a lot of tough miles early. I knew that if I could get to 9, I'd be OK as being an out and back run, once I hit 9, there was no choice, it was 9 miles back to the car. I talked myself through every mile from 1-9 and knew that if I completed this run, it would have been my toughest run ever.

Mentally, when I got to 9, I was in good shape. Turned after the extra 1/4 mile I generally add on and knew immediately that coming home was not going to be "downhill" as I hoped (I call coming home "downhill" as the miles count down on Nike Plus...just another trick in the mental game)... just after the "8 miles to go" call on my iPod, I lost the battle....not mentally this time....physically. About 10 1/2 miles in, my legs just quit. I was trying like hell to fight thru it mentally, but I was out of juice. Nothing more. Just done. Took a long walk break and realized that it was going to be a long road home. I walked most of the way back as at this point, it is more important to not risk injury than it is to post a few inconsequential vanity miles.

Marukami writes, "I run to acquire a void". It's one of the joys of distance running. 3 hours with just you and a trail can be a pretty peaceful place. I never found that void today. Obviously, my mind was scrambling, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me while desperately trying to keep my legs moving forward. After ruling out everything including the bok choy, I realized that preparation for an 18 mile run doesn't start the night before the run, and I'm not talking about training. The week before the marathon, I carefully planned my menu, didn't drink and got plenty of rest. Why would I not approach a 18 miler with a similar mind set? Instead, after a fun filled Labor Day weekend abusing my bod with food and booze, I didn't create a plan for the week and didn't rest up at all. I even decided on both Weds and Thurs to stay up late to watch recorded shows which, if you know me this won't surprise you, ended with me falling asleep in my chair and not going to bed until after 3 am. So, the days leading up to my long run included back to back nights with about 3 hours of productive sleep each. I wonder why I ran out of steam. I used to laugh at Hill as she would go into full "marathon mode" for the month before the run....hmmmm, maybe I should take the next 27 days a little more seriously in terms of nutrition and sleep.

While I was very disappointed by today's run, I didn't get angry like I have in the past. Anger born from fear of being able to achieve the unknown. 18 is a critical run, but a run that I know I am capable of doing. This year, I find myself learning more from my runs than I did last year. I guess that's the benefit of experience.

I'll be prepared for the Ready to Run 20 miler next Sunday.