9:43 was my pace this morning on my 5 miler north. Fastest 5 miles in my brief running career by 23 seconds. May not seem like much, but it is. Also recorded personal best mile (mile 5 no less, so a great kick to finish).
It was an amazing morning. Leaving the house, sky was deepest blue and the stars were so bright against the vastness of that sky. Moon was a tiny sliver, low and to the East with a huge, bright star just to the left. Really inspiring. As I approached downtown, the sunrise was equally as awesome. Beautiful blends of purple and pink, red and orange slowly cutting away at the dark blue sky. First glimpse of the city is usually just past Austin. This morning, as soon as I came over the pass at Mannheim, oh my..the Sears tower is towering above everything and is perfectly clear. So magestic. As the rest of the city came into view, it was like a photograph, dark buildings against an awakening sky. The Sears Tower was still towering above all, looking 100 stories higher than any other building. I knew it was going to be a good day.
Typical path North to the point for 5 miler. Energy was great and aided by the energy of the Lake. She was dancing today. A steady wind and the water was happy. Along the stretch from Ohio St to Oak St. Beach, the waves gently crashed against the wall and every so often, would hit hard enough to create a little water puppet, emerging above the wall, trying desperately to grab the wall and escape, but almost always falling straight back down into the lake. The corner at Oak St is a little more exciting. Waves crash and often send a billow of water across the open path. I made it through dry on the way out, but got nailed on the way back. Sorry to the poor lady I almost decked trying to keep the Nike's dry! The path to the point was flooded with puddles, so I foolishly took to the top of the wall to make my way to my fave place, re-connecting with the path in time to make the point. Baby waves tickled my feet out to my turnaround and back. It was fantastic. A beautiful morning and a beautiful run.
My "Official" Participant's packet arrived today. Guess it's real. My bib this year is 37148. I like it. 3 and 7 are my favorite numbers and add all of them up to get 23......no definition needed for the significance of that number. Another log on the fire.
8 Miles in the AM and then all hands on deck for Sunday. 24 days and counting. Can't wait!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Wind cries Mary
So, I got to spend a few hours last night in the ER. It was miserable (until the RN showed me how to turn on MNF and even then is was depressing as hell). We were in a temp room while the ER is under construction. Big bonus was that there were curtains separating us from other patients and "arrival" of new patients. I could go on and on about the stories I made up in my head about the other patients and their stories. Unfortunately, I didn't have to make up a story for Mary who was admitted to the "room" behind me. Mary was picked up by paramedics wandering around by the tracks. She is suffering from Alzheimer's and is known to wander her neighborhood. It's in her "record" that her son doesn't care anymore. Unimaginable. She didn't know her name, address or birthdate the first 4 times they asked her. At one point she said "I don't know that right now" as if she expected to know the answer any minute. In between inquisitions by the various hospital workers, Mary would cry and talk to herself, asking why she was there, calling for her daddy or simply asking to go home, her anxious state ebbed and flowed as interns and RN's filed in and out of her "room" (and don't get me wrong, each was genuine and friendly and working hard to do their job, but talking to her like she was 5.) It was a horrifying "conversation" to listen to.
I decided I would blog about the experience, not to be a Pdaddy downer, but rather to bring some little awareness to the reality of Alzheimer's. My Buckaroo lived with it, but I was too young to understand. Listening to Mary tonight made me realize how horrible this disease is and how much work there is to be done. I ran for LUNGevity last year, will run for Team Fox for Parkinson's disease this year and have supported Livestrong, The Hirshberg foundation and Susan G. Komen amongst others, yet listening to Mary beg for her daddy to help last night made me question if any of us are doing enough. I don't know that answer but will be thinking a lot about it and will never forget Mary (we did learn that she was 86, born in 1923. She has forgotten more about life than I know, but can't remember her name...).
When thinking about this post, many titles were going through my head. "There's something about Mary". "Crazy Mary" (Chicagoans will get this) or "The wind cried Mary". The latter is a Jimi Hendrix song. I searched the lyrics today and was dumbfounded by what I found. I think Jimi wrote this about Mary.
Here are the lyrics to Jimi's song. Please support research organizations that give 100% of proceeds to finding a cure. We can't settle for the obstacles that inhibit us today from curing these diseases.
The Wind Cries Mary- Jimi Hendrix
"After all the jacks are in their boxes and the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness staggering on down the street
Footprints dressed in red and the wind whispers mary
A broom is drearily sweeping up the broken pieces of yesterdays life
Somewhere a queen is weeping somewhere a king has no wife
And the wind it cries mary
The traffic lights they turn of blue tomorrow
And shine their emptiness down on my bed
The tiny island sails downstream cause the life that lived is is dead
And the wind screams mary
Will the wind ever remember the names it has blown in the past
And with this crutch its old age and its wisdom
It whispers no this will be the last
And the wind cries mary"
I decided I would blog about the experience, not to be a Pdaddy downer, but rather to bring some little awareness to the reality of Alzheimer's. My Buckaroo lived with it, but I was too young to understand. Listening to Mary tonight made me realize how horrible this disease is and how much work there is to be done. I ran for LUNGevity last year, will run for Team Fox for Parkinson's disease this year and have supported Livestrong, The Hirshberg foundation and Susan G. Komen amongst others, yet listening to Mary beg for her daddy to help last night made me question if any of us are doing enough. I don't know that answer but will be thinking a lot about it and will never forget Mary (we did learn that she was 86, born in 1923. She has forgotten more about life than I know, but can't remember her name...).
When thinking about this post, many titles were going through my head. "There's something about Mary". "Crazy Mary" (Chicagoans will get this) or "The wind cried Mary". The latter is a Jimi Hendrix song. I searched the lyrics today and was dumbfounded by what I found. I think Jimi wrote this about Mary.
Here are the lyrics to Jimi's song. Please support research organizations that give 100% of proceeds to finding a cure. We can't settle for the obstacles that inhibit us today from curing these diseases.
The Wind Cries Mary- Jimi Hendrix
"After all the jacks are in their boxes and the clowns have all gone to bed
You can hear happiness staggering on down the street
Footprints dressed in red and the wind whispers mary
A broom is drearily sweeping up the broken pieces of yesterdays life
Somewhere a queen is weeping somewhere a king has no wife
And the wind it cries mary
The traffic lights they turn of blue tomorrow
And shine their emptiness down on my bed
The tiny island sails downstream cause the life that lived is is dead
And the wind screams mary
Will the wind ever remember the names it has blown in the past
And with this crutch its old age and its wisdom
It whispers no this will be the last
And the wind cries mary"
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Preparation is everything.
Last year, quoting my Spin Instructor Annette, I said "If you want it, you have to train for it". After today's busted 18 mile run today, I can add..."If you want it, you have to prepare for it". Today, I set out for my 18 miler...as has been typical this season, it was a cool day, so I slept in and headed out late (9:30ish). Had prepared on Friday as prescribed, except...there was no sense of urgency. I got home late, took my time cooking dinner, didn't set-up my next day fuel, basically, didn't follow my routine.
Anyway, the usual plan on a long run is to break it in pieces. Today, 18 miles was just three 6 mile runs in my head to start. Later in the run, it turns into a "just one more mile" game where you are equally fighting for and cherishing every small milestone. Typically, the first mile and 3/4 is tough, then I hit a groove and can slip into the plan. Today, I knew from the first step that it was going to be tough. Felt really heavy despite recording lowest weight on scale in 10 years and had what felt like a balloon between my stomach and chest. Form sucked, my stride was short and I couldn't catch my breath. I was just not comfortable. After 2 miles, I thought to myself "I can turn back now, do 4 and do my long run tomorrow." In hind sight, I should have heeded my own advice. By mile 3, I was already playing the "one more mile" card. I had lots of opportunities to quit, but was proud of my drive. I talked myself through a lot of tough miles early. I knew that if I could get to 9, I'd be OK as being an out and back run, once I hit 9, there was no choice, it was 9 miles back to the car. I talked myself through every mile from 1-9 and knew that if I completed this run, it would have been my toughest run ever.
Mentally, when I got to 9, I was in good shape. Turned after the extra 1/4 mile I generally add on and knew immediately that coming home was not going to be "downhill" as I hoped (I call coming home "downhill" as the miles count down on Nike Plus...just another trick in the mental game)... just after the "8 miles to go" call on my iPod, I lost the battle....not mentally this time....physically. About 10 1/2 miles in, my legs just quit. I was trying like hell to fight thru it mentally, but I was out of juice. Nothing more. Just done. Took a long walk break and realized that it was going to be a long road home. I walked most of the way back as at this point, it is more important to not risk injury than it is to post a few inconsequential vanity miles.
Marukami writes, "I run to acquire a void". It's one of the joys of distance running. 3 hours with just you and a trail can be a pretty peaceful place. I never found that void today. Obviously, my mind was scrambling, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me while desperately trying to keep my legs moving forward. After ruling out everything including the bok choy, I realized that preparation for an 18 mile run doesn't start the night before the run, and I'm not talking about training. The week before the marathon, I carefully planned my menu, didn't drink and got plenty of rest. Why would I not approach a 18 miler with a similar mind set? Instead, after a fun filled Labor Day weekend abusing my bod with food and booze, I didn't create a plan for the week and didn't rest up at all. I even decided on both Weds and Thurs to stay up late to watch recorded shows which, if you know me this won't surprise you, ended with me falling asleep in my chair and not going to bed until after 3 am. So, the days leading up to my long run included back to back nights with about 3 hours of productive sleep each. I wonder why I ran out of steam. I used to laugh at Hill as she would go into full "marathon mode" for the month before the run....hmmmm, maybe I should take the next 27 days a little more seriously in terms of nutrition and sleep.
While I was very disappointed by today's run, I didn't get angry like I have in the past. Anger born from fear of being able to achieve the unknown. 18 is a critical run, but a run that I know I am capable of doing. This year, I find myself learning more from my runs than I did last year. I guess that's the benefit of experience.
I'll be prepared for the Ready to Run 20 miler next Sunday.
Anyway, the usual plan on a long run is to break it in pieces. Today, 18 miles was just three 6 mile runs in my head to start. Later in the run, it turns into a "just one more mile" game where you are equally fighting for and cherishing every small milestone. Typically, the first mile and 3/4 is tough, then I hit a groove and can slip into the plan. Today, I knew from the first step that it was going to be tough. Felt really heavy despite recording lowest weight on scale in 10 years and had what felt like a balloon between my stomach and chest. Form sucked, my stride was short and I couldn't catch my breath. I was just not comfortable. After 2 miles, I thought to myself "I can turn back now, do 4 and do my long run tomorrow." In hind sight, I should have heeded my own advice. By mile 3, I was already playing the "one more mile" card. I had lots of opportunities to quit, but was proud of my drive. I talked myself through a lot of tough miles early. I knew that if I could get to 9, I'd be OK as being an out and back run, once I hit 9, there was no choice, it was 9 miles back to the car. I talked myself through every mile from 1-9 and knew that if I completed this run, it would have been my toughest run ever.
Mentally, when I got to 9, I was in good shape. Turned after the extra 1/4 mile I generally add on and knew immediately that coming home was not going to be "downhill" as I hoped (I call coming home "downhill" as the miles count down on Nike Plus...just another trick in the mental game)... just after the "8 miles to go" call on my iPod, I lost the battle....not mentally this time....physically. About 10 1/2 miles in, my legs just quit. I was trying like hell to fight thru it mentally, but I was out of juice. Nothing more. Just done. Took a long walk break and realized that it was going to be a long road home. I walked most of the way back as at this point, it is more important to not risk injury than it is to post a few inconsequential vanity miles.
Marukami writes, "I run to acquire a void". It's one of the joys of distance running. 3 hours with just you and a trail can be a pretty peaceful place. I never found that void today. Obviously, my mind was scrambling, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me while desperately trying to keep my legs moving forward. After ruling out everything including the bok choy, I realized that preparation for an 18 mile run doesn't start the night before the run, and I'm not talking about training. The week before the marathon, I carefully planned my menu, didn't drink and got plenty of rest. Why would I not approach a 18 miler with a similar mind set? Instead, after a fun filled Labor Day weekend abusing my bod with food and booze, I didn't create a plan for the week and didn't rest up at all. I even decided on both Weds and Thurs to stay up late to watch recorded shows which, if you know me this won't surprise you, ended with me falling asleep in my chair and not going to bed until after 3 am. So, the days leading up to my long run included back to back nights with about 3 hours of productive sleep each. I wonder why I ran out of steam. I used to laugh at Hill as she would go into full "marathon mode" for the month before the run....hmmmm, maybe I should take the next 27 days a little more seriously in terms of nutrition and sleep.
While I was very disappointed by today's run, I didn't get angry like I have in the past. Anger born from fear of being able to achieve the unknown. 18 is a critical run, but a run that I know I am capable of doing. This year, I find myself learning more from my runs than I did last year. I guess that's the benefit of experience.
I'll be prepared for the Ready to Run 20 miler next Sunday.
Friday, September 11, 2009
The day 9-11 was no longer just an emergency call
8 years ago, the numbers 9-1-1 were forever branded into our memories.
We all remember where we were, what we were doing and who we were with. We remember watching in disbelief. We remember comforting and being comforted. We remember Fear, Rage and Loss. We each remember different, but equally vivid images of the day. We remember a city in dust. We remember the words “Let’s Roll!” and when those courageous men and women took down flight 93 in a Pennsylvania field, we all asked ourselves “Would I have been so brave?” We remember the desperate, fighting off reality in hopes that somehow, somewhere, their husband, wife, father, sister, friend would emerge from the ashes. We remember the eerie silence of skies void of air traffic. We remember calling someone, just to say “I love you”. We remember that hug, the first one from our child, mother, spouse, boyfriend, brother when we saw them for the first time after the towers fell and we remember the heroes and their tireless, selfless efforts to save someone they’ve never met. We remember being inspired. Most importantly, we remember. Shall we never forget.
10 days after 9/11, there was a really amazing benefit concert called “America, a Tribute to Heroes”. Set in empty soundstages on each coast and a remote broadcast from London, a collection of actors and musicians performed live, un-rehearsed for 2 hours, commercial free on all networks. The benefit raised $30 million.
Click on the title of this post to see my favorite performance of the event. It lives on my iPod and the chills I get when I see or hear this performance are as intense today as they were on 9/21/01. I hope they never go away.
Appreciate one another, celebrate, inspire and create new memories everyday. It’ll make for a pretty full life.
We all remember where we were, what we were doing and who we were with. We remember watching in disbelief. We remember comforting and being comforted. We remember Fear, Rage and Loss. We each remember different, but equally vivid images of the day. We remember a city in dust. We remember the words “Let’s Roll!” and when those courageous men and women took down flight 93 in a Pennsylvania field, we all asked ourselves “Would I have been so brave?” We remember the desperate, fighting off reality in hopes that somehow, somewhere, their husband, wife, father, sister, friend would emerge from the ashes. We remember the eerie silence of skies void of air traffic. We remember calling someone, just to say “I love you”. We remember that hug, the first one from our child, mother, spouse, boyfriend, brother when we saw them for the first time after the towers fell and we remember the heroes and their tireless, selfless efforts to save someone they’ve never met. We remember being inspired. Most importantly, we remember. Shall we never forget.
10 days after 9/11, there was a really amazing benefit concert called “America, a Tribute to Heroes”. Set in empty soundstages on each coast and a remote broadcast from London, a collection of actors and musicians performed live, un-rehearsed for 2 hours, commercial free on all networks. The benefit raised $30 million.
Click on the title of this post to see my favorite performance of the event. It lives on my iPod and the chills I get when I see or hear this performance are as intense today as they were on 9/21/01. I hope they never go away.
Appreciate one another, celebrate, inspire and create new memories everyday. It’ll make for a pretty full life.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
A foggy, cool Chicago morn
Really nice 7 mile run heading south around Adler this AM. Pace was good overall, but inconsistent. Started too fast, lull in the middle, ended strong. Felt great. Skyline was engulfed in fog and while it was cool, it was humid as hell.
My finish on south route is on the riverfront at Michigan Ave, south side of river. Up one flight of stairs to lower Michigan Ave. Normally, a pretty quiet area free of foot traffic. Today, came up steps to hoards of commuters heading to work. Suits, hospital scrubs, business attire, a large, bald headed woman shaped like a man...it was odd and honestly, a little uncomfortable walking amongst this crowd dripping sweat from every pore with shirt and shorts soaked through. Once I got over myself, I was proud of my run and proud to be a runner in the middle of this pack.
The subject of "cool" came up today in discussion and got me thinking...what is "cool"? Who decides if you are "cool" or not? What are the benefits of being "cool"? If you are "uncool", can you become "cool" and vice versa? What made James Dean cool? How about John Lennon? JFK was cool. Ellen is cool as is Tony Romo. I could go on, but bottom line, all are very different, but all "cool". Seems like kind of a silly subject to spend much time contemplating, but if you think about it...if you try to be "cool", you probably are not. Cool is a state of mind, not a character trait. Cool is being confident in who you are and proud of it. Cool is moving through life with a sense of purpose and an open mind. Cool is surrounding yourself with people who also have purpose and open minds. Cool is not just being you, it's allowing all the different moments of your life to contribute to the fabric of who you are. Cool is a state of mind.
Speaking of cool. Thanks to my Little Sis Cary and her hubby Andy and Daryl Hill for their donations today. Very cool.
I'm lucky to have a ton of cool people in my life. It's inspiring and helps me every day, more than words can say.
My finish on south route is on the riverfront at Michigan Ave, south side of river. Up one flight of stairs to lower Michigan Ave. Normally, a pretty quiet area free of foot traffic. Today, came up steps to hoards of commuters heading to work. Suits, hospital scrubs, business attire, a large, bald headed woman shaped like a man...it was odd and honestly, a little uncomfortable walking amongst this crowd dripping sweat from every pore with shirt and shorts soaked through. Once I got over myself, I was proud of my run and proud to be a runner in the middle of this pack.
The subject of "cool" came up today in discussion and got me thinking...what is "cool"? Who decides if you are "cool" or not? What are the benefits of being "cool"? If you are "uncool", can you become "cool" and vice versa? What made James Dean cool? How about John Lennon? JFK was cool. Ellen is cool as is Tony Romo. I could go on, but bottom line, all are very different, but all "cool". Seems like kind of a silly subject to spend much time contemplating, but if you think about it...if you try to be "cool", you probably are not. Cool is a state of mind, not a character trait. Cool is being confident in who you are and proud of it. Cool is moving through life with a sense of purpose and an open mind. Cool is surrounding yourself with people who also have purpose and open minds. Cool is not just being you, it's allowing all the different moments of your life to contribute to the fabric of who you are. Cool is a state of mind.
Speaking of cool. Thanks to my Little Sis Cary and her hubby Andy and Daryl Hill for their donations today. Very cool.
I'm lucky to have a ton of cool people in my life. It's inspiring and helps me every day, more than words can say.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Maybe next year Sweetness...
Nice easy 5 miler this AM. Nice morning on the North route to my fave point. Really cool seeing a couple that were def from out of the country, looked like South American or maybe from Spain based on the Football Crest on his jacket, walking out the path and seeing their reaction when they turned at the point to see the skyline. The camera and video camera were out in an instant. Skyline had awesome fog settled in that covered tops of most buildings, but left the tops of the tall ones exposed. Awesome.
Signs of the end of summer everywhere. City of Chicago trucks packing up gazebos and such, volleyball nets down, no Triathalon training class, the running path traffic lighter than normal. The end of a short and odd Chicago Summer.
I signed up today for the Nike Ready to Run 20 miler on 9/20. This is an awesome run from Foster beach down the lakefront path to the South Shore Cultural center. An ominous run looking at it on a map and one during which I struggled last year (forgot until i read my blog that it was the morning after the Mich Ave mag launch party with Cindy "ei chi wa wa" Crawford, so i was on 4 hours sleep....but, a run that in know mentally handicapped me last year on Marathon day). My last long run and it needs to go well. Recruiting runners to join me for a mile or 3 for that race. Since it's on a public path, easy to hop on and help me out for a few miles. Let me know if you're interested and I'll help you connect with me at some point along the way. Don't worry, to quote the band Steriogram.."He's fat and he don't run too fast", so if you're in, it will be a nice and slow pace!
I realized today that because I made the decision to postpone my 18 miler until this Sat, that i can't run the Walter Payton 9.5 mile run this Sat. It was probably my favorite run last year. Torrential downpour from start to finish with the BEST volunteers on the course to support us. I will run this race next year. Sorry Sweetness for not being there for you on Saturday.
Shout out to M.E., Hadley and Kim for their donations today. I'm lucky to have amazing friends and family. Truly lucky.
Ciao for now. Caught up on Entourage and Top Chef tonight, ready now for a September to remember (how cheesy am I???)
Signs of the end of summer everywhere. City of Chicago trucks packing up gazebos and such, volleyball nets down, no Triathalon training class, the running path traffic lighter than normal. The end of a short and odd Chicago Summer.
I signed up today for the Nike Ready to Run 20 miler on 9/20. This is an awesome run from Foster beach down the lakefront path to the South Shore Cultural center. An ominous run looking at it on a map and one during which I struggled last year (forgot until i read my blog that it was the morning after the Mich Ave mag launch party with Cindy "ei chi wa wa" Crawford, so i was on 4 hours sleep....but, a run that in know mentally handicapped me last year on Marathon day). My last long run and it needs to go well. Recruiting runners to join me for a mile or 3 for that race. Since it's on a public path, easy to hop on and help me out for a few miles. Let me know if you're interested and I'll help you connect with me at some point along the way. Don't worry, to quote the band Steriogram.."He's fat and he don't run too fast", so if you're in, it will be a nice and slow pace!
I realized today that because I made the decision to postpone my 18 miler until this Sat, that i can't run the Walter Payton 9.5 mile run this Sat. It was probably my favorite run last year. Torrential downpour from start to finish with the BEST volunteers on the course to support us. I will run this race next year. Sorry Sweetness for not being there for you on Saturday.
Shout out to M.E., Hadley and Kim for their donations today. I'm lucky to have amazing friends and family. Truly lucky.
Ciao for now. Caught up on Entourage and Top Chef tonight, ready now for a September to remember (how cheesy am I???)
Sunday, September 6, 2009
I'm baaaaaaaaack!
It's been a while. How you been?
Sorry for long absence, but I have been struggling to bring closure to Chicago 08. Long story, but at the end of the day, I experienced the runner's blues hard after the marathon last year. Didn't run for over 3 months and wasn't able to bring myself to finish my journey. Something was left undone and it took me a while to sort it out. Not going to bore you with the details, but deep down, I was disappointed in my marathon performance. Don't get me wrong, the experience was brilliant, but my performance was bad. Hit the wall at 15 miles and struggled mentally and physically the rest of the way. Did I finish? Yes. Am I too hard on myself? Yes. Am I proud of myself? Hell Yes. Am I satisfied? No. So what's a guy to do? Obviously, gotta to do it again! My mantra this year is "At least he never walked" and my goal is to walk water stations only. "At least he never walked" is a late chapter in Haruki Murakami's memoir, "What I talk about when I talk about running." Brilliant author. Must read book for runners and non-runners alike.
Yesterday, I enjoyed many smiles and tears reading back through my blog, including finding the partial draft of my post from the day after. I have posted it as I found it. No way to recapture now the emotion that I was writing with then. I do owe a shout out to all those who came out last year to cheer me on. The fam, Time, Jen and the girls, Kim, Kieran and Liesl, The Consoles, The Piaskowys, Jen, Jillian, Matt, Claudia, Em, Robert, Red, et al. I know I'm forgetting someone. And to Hill and Pete who ran as well....This year is a totally different journey and the joy and pain of a first timer is missing. I'm not a pro, but I have experience now, so there is no unknown. There is no "first time to xx miles" which helps in managing the process, which, I guess, is what it is now, a process, not an experience. Hard to describe. It's not that I'm not having fun or enjoying milestones, it's just different.
5 weeks until the marathon and my training has been almost non-existent. I'm hitting my long runs, but not making the short ones. Need to get focused and have a good September on the road.
I am running this year for Team Fox in support of the Michael J. Fox foundation for Joe Stever, my father in law, who is living with Parkinson's disease. Joe is one of the most brilliant and positive people I know. Despite the challenge of living with PD, Joe is Joe. Always looking for the answer, glass is always half full and he still thinks he's a comedian. The new picture is Papa Joe and the kids last summer. I will be posting some information on PD and some perspective on living with it from Joe and Darryl Hill (Shirley, his wife and my brother's mother in law is living with PD in MN). It's funny running in the name of someone who is living as the terms used in fund raising efforts often indicate that the person has passed. I catch myself saying "In memory of" or "In the name of" when referring to the run. It's odd....
OK, enough for now. Have a great labor day.
Sorry for long absence, but I have been struggling to bring closure to Chicago 08. Long story, but at the end of the day, I experienced the runner's blues hard after the marathon last year. Didn't run for over 3 months and wasn't able to bring myself to finish my journey. Something was left undone and it took me a while to sort it out. Not going to bore you with the details, but deep down, I was disappointed in my marathon performance. Don't get me wrong, the experience was brilliant, but my performance was bad. Hit the wall at 15 miles and struggled mentally and physically the rest of the way. Did I finish? Yes. Am I too hard on myself? Yes. Am I proud of myself? Hell Yes. Am I satisfied? No. So what's a guy to do? Obviously, gotta to do it again! My mantra this year is "At least he never walked" and my goal is to walk water stations only. "At least he never walked" is a late chapter in Haruki Murakami's memoir, "What I talk about when I talk about running." Brilliant author. Must read book for runners and non-runners alike.
Yesterday, I enjoyed many smiles and tears reading back through my blog, including finding the partial draft of my post from the day after. I have posted it as I found it. No way to recapture now the emotion that I was writing with then. I do owe a shout out to all those who came out last year to cheer me on. The fam, Time, Jen and the girls, Kim, Kieran and Liesl, The Consoles, The Piaskowys, Jen, Jillian, Matt, Claudia, Em, Robert, Red, et al. I know I'm forgetting someone. And to Hill and Pete who ran as well....This year is a totally different journey and the joy and pain of a first timer is missing. I'm not a pro, but I have experience now, so there is no unknown. There is no "first time to xx miles" which helps in managing the process, which, I guess, is what it is now, a process, not an experience. Hard to describe. It's not that I'm not having fun or enjoying milestones, it's just different.
5 weeks until the marathon and my training has been almost non-existent. I'm hitting my long runs, but not making the short ones. Need to get focused and have a good September on the road.
I am running this year for Team Fox in support of the Michael J. Fox foundation for Joe Stever, my father in law, who is living with Parkinson's disease. Joe is one of the most brilliant and positive people I know. Despite the challenge of living with PD, Joe is Joe. Always looking for the answer, glass is always half full and he still thinks he's a comedian. The new picture is Papa Joe and the kids last summer. I will be posting some information on PD and some perspective on living with it from Joe and Darryl Hill (Shirley, his wife and my brother's mother in law is living with PD in MN). It's funny running in the name of someone who is living as the terms used in fund raising efforts often indicate that the person has passed. I catch myself saying "In memory of" or "In the name of" when referring to the run. It's odd....
OK, enough for now. Have a great labor day.
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