Within reach

I almost bailed on my 18 today...had an exhausting and stressful week and by Friday was toast, mentally and physically. I don't think I got more than 5 hours sleep any night and none of them were good nights of sleep. Regardless, I made all of my workouts. I was looking for inspiration Fri night and found it in 2 places....1) Stand up to Cancer. A Hollywood fundraiser for Cancer research. The spectacle didn't impress me, but the stories of the survivors and those who were taken from us by various forms of cancer did, especially the story of the survivor that had the same cancer that took Lorraine but was lucky enough to have the opportunity to participate in a clinical trial that worked. Why are we not being more aggressive in pursuit of this cure???? It's there, time to accelerate the process. 2) My pre-long run First marathon read was about a Nun who started running as a smoker when she was 50 and wound up setting records for her age group in the marathon and various other distances. Much to my parents dismay, I struggle with organized religion. Way to heavy for this blog, but this particular story brought light to my darkness about spirituality.....Sister Marion Irvine writes "Prior to running, I wasn't experiencing life, wasn't alive inside. Running gave me that opportunity. It changed my life in ways I never expected. I've had extraordinary experiences running the Washington Cascades, admiring God's canvas of natural beauty. I've seen bears in the river catching salmon for their lunch, beautiful mountain wildflowers that dazzle the landscape. It gives new meaning to the word spiritual. I'm not talking about organized religion here, I'm describing the spiritual process of getting in touch with one's self, i.e. our spirit, our inner self, our person. You don't have to go to Church to experience spirituality. Running can bring you to that place." Pretty cool and pretty true and might bring clarity to my struggle with my views on things........So anyway...

Woke up Saturday at 4:55 and knew there was no way. Realized that my Sat runs were always early due to the heat and that today was going to be mild. Convinced myself to get another hour sleep...so up at 6:15 and feeling horrible. nose running and lots of congestion. I fueled, including using a flat Mountain Due to get sugar and caffeine in (based on the legendary Hal Higdon's advise) and got dressed to go, having trouble breathing just standing around...I again thought that I'd be better off going back to bed and running on Sunday. For those of you who know me, this will surprise you......i actually took medicine...an antihistimine..i know, i know....as i was waiting for it to kick in, i read my 16 mile blog and was immediately ready to roll. First 2 miles were tough and then it kicked in. The run was easy, especially that back half. Miles were droping like flies. I was loving every minute of it. When I got to the fork in the road, I initially chose the known path, the one i ran last time as i knew it was flat....then, in a sudden change of plan, knowing this was my last long run on this path and wanting to see something new, turned and took the the unknown trail...I knew it was hilly...but didn't know how much. It was about 1 mile of rolling hills. some short and steep..some long and low, but to runners.....hills are hills.....someone asked afterward if Annette was yelling at me during the hills and for the first time, I can say nope, she was there, but cheering me on and proud of me....anybody but me see me growing up here??? Today's run was easy and interestingly enough, not emotional at all. During the run, I thought of the people I met Friday night during the Stand Up event, of Mark and Nelson (I added "I Still Believe" by The Call to my playlist. This was the main song we used for our production of Richard III at FSU and i enjoyed great memories of that show), my running support system, my family and Lorraine. It was a great run. Tonight, I am tired and sore and in awe of what i've done. I can't believe I'm this close. On an other note....my ipod died as it was giving me my stats...those who know me, know that I long for the praise that comes with a job well done and in running, it's Lance Armstrong on my Ipod congratulating me on a new personal best...I ended my run on Nike plus and as the woman was giving me my stats (Lance tells me good job after the stats) my Ipod died. battery dead. No Lance congratulating me....i was initially disappointed, but realized that I don't need that affirmation any longer...I know what i did and know what i will do. I don't need the "voice in my ear" any longer...I'm my own runner and I am soon to be a Marathon runner. Wow......Next stop...20 miles.....